I had a stalker in college (btw, I am DEEPLY sorry if you’re reading this…) who I really wasn’t interested in. Eventually, I need to do something drastic (not mean) to get the point across. How does this relate to marketing? It’s not just about “being good”. It’s about being different!
All right, All right. Sorry, I’m in the car again, by the way. Usually I am in front of a nice microphone. Every once in a while when nice thought hits me and I’m like, “Oh my gosh. That’s one of the core principals that I use.” I decide I should probably share them with you. Anyways, I’m in the car driving and just thought I’d take the time.
Recently somebody asked me, I can’t remember what they asked me, but this story from my past popped up, right. I had this stalker and sorry if she’s listening to this, I seriously doubt it. I was in college and I had this stalker and everyone kind of knew it. I guess that’s the thing about stalkers is they’re not being subtle. She was showing up at our door in our apartment. She’d be like, “Hey, how’s it going?” She was awkward about it. She’d be like, “Hey, yeah, so hi. Just wanted to come by and say hi and come say hi.” You’re like, Yeah you said it three times now. Then it’d be silent for a second and be like, yep because I wasn’t interested. Then she’d be like, “See you.”
I’d be like, “Okay, we’re done today, this is good. See you tomorrow or tonight or some awkward time.” Then she’d show up again, and be like, “Hey I made this t-shirt for you.” I was like, “You made me a t-shirt?” I think I threw it away after she left. I felt bad. I was like I’m not going to wear this and keep this going. Another day she came by and was like, “Hey, I made you cookies.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, you’re not buying me with your dang cookies, although they’re tasty and delicious.”
Anyways, she went through this crazy elaborate scheme to ask me to this Jane Austin Ball thing that the campus was putting on. That’s not something I would usually go to but I’m not going to say no. I wanted to be nice. I can’t even remember what she did. Maybe is was another shirt, I can’t even remember what it was. It was big and elaborate and it was extremely clear that she was going through this massive thing to go through the trouble to ask me to this dance in a really crazy way. I was like, “Yeah, sounds good.” She was like, “That’s all you’re going to say is yes? I went through this huge thing you’ve got to say yes back in a really fun way.” I was like, “Okay.” I never did. She got all offended. She was like, “I get the feeling you’re not interested in me.” I was like, “That’d be right.”
I decided what the heck, I’ll answer back in a crazy way. I was like, what’s something that I can do that’s kind of out there, I promise this relates to business, what’s something I can do that’s borderline crazy but it’s not like the typical thing but will totally get the thing across. I want her to think afterwards she’ll never forget it but also put a little disgust in her brain. I was just walking around and I was like, maybe something will pop up today. I was at the grocery store, I was getting food for the next week. I was over by where the meat section is, the deli area. I see these salmon, whole salmon, they’re huge. They had been gutted and cleaned and everything of course but huge salmon. I’m like I’m totally buying it. I don’t even know what I’m going to use it for yet, but it’s somehow involved.
I had this huge salmon and I bring it back to my apartment. This thing is frozen rock solid. I’m like, how am I going to use this for. All the sudden, I’m like, “This is it!” I went and I grabbed this knife and I start trying to chop off the tail part. This sounds a totally morbid but it was frozen solid so I had to leave it out until it was oozing a little bit. It was totally disgusting, smells a little bit. There was six of us in that apartment. I’m sure all the other guys were like, “What the heck is wrong with this kid?” I was telling them the idea though, they were like, “This is genius.”
I sawed off the tail and then I took a piece of paper and I wrote on there, “Looks like you got me hooked.” I put it inside of a plastic bag and I shoved in it inside of the tail through the part where you clean it all out. Basically, there was a note in this massive Salmon tail. I went and I got a coat hanger and I made a hook out of it and some dental floss and I tied the floss to the hook, then I hooked the tail onto the coat hanger so it looked like it was a fish hook. Then I went to her apartment door an I hung it in front of their door. As soon as they open their door, they see it. It took them a while to try to find it. It was hanging in the hot sun getting all nasty and dripping everywhere. Its’ totally disgusting. I had no problem dropping her after this.
She opened the door. I was hiding and I heard her open the door and I hear her go, “Oh my gosh, what the freak is that? This is disgusting.” She was looking at it, sees this little note sticking out. Opens it up and was like, “Looks like you hooked my tail” or something like that. She’s like, “That’s how you said yes?” I was like, “You’re not my stalker anymore.” I didn’t say that. We went on the date and she still was like, “Don’t be nervous if I want to touch you the whole night, I’m just really excited I’m on a date with you.”
I was like, “Oh, no.” She totally got the idea, especially after the fish thing. I never saw her again after that. It’s kind of a big long story. I ended up taking the other part of the Salmon and cooking it for a girl that I was actually interested in and totally impressed her and it was awesome.
Anyways, what’s the whole point of that story? That sometimes you have to lose people. You don’t have to be mean about it. I’m not saying you’ve got to do crazy stuff. Here’s what the lesson is, you’ve got to be prolific. The question I started asking myself to make that whole thing happen was, “How can I be prolific?” Which is not crazy, but not mainstream. It’s that in between stage. The only marketers that actually do anything with a lot of traction, do something prolific. You think of dollar shave club. Their marketing is pretty raw. Stuff like Carl’s Jr., I’m not condoning anything that any of these people do but if you just look at what they’re doing, they’re prolific. They’re doing things that are out of the norm.
If I’m going to go pitch someone and try to get them to buy, I might as well make them laugh, or shock them, or do something that’s gong to be memorable because I’m sucking up their time. I guarantee she remembers that stupid salmon fish tail and understands that I’m just not interested, stop pursuing me, you’re waisting your time. I guarantee she remembers that. Every one of my friends remember that. It was a little bit prolific especially for the dating world.
I keep giving all these dating examples so I’ll give one more. I came back home in between semesters for Christmas. I came home and I was actually at church. Goes to show what was on my head by going to church this time. I go to church I sat down in front of this girl. I was like, “Dang, who is that? She is hot. Holy crap.” I sit down and my brother is with me. I was like, “Did you see her?” He was like, “Freak yeah man. Holy smokes.” Anyways took me a little bit of guts to work up the courage to ask her out and things like that because she’s hot. I was making sure I had my buff stuff on.
I went and I asked her on a date. I was like, “I’ve got to do something on this date that’s going to be really cool. Something that’s not mainstream.” It’s really funny thinking about it, I never realized that I was asking that same question. Something that’s not mainstream, something that’s a little bit crazy. I want to get her out of there comfort zone a little bit just so she knows I’m a little bit nuts sometimes and she’s got to know this is part of the package and I like to be out there sometimes. I was like, “All right, what are we going to go do”
I picked her up on the date, and I was like, “We’re first going to go to Goodwill.” Which was like Desert Industries or something like that. We’re going to go buy anything in there that has to do with argyle, like golfer’s argyle.” We went and I got this cool tie, I was wearing a fedora, she was wearing this vest. It was kind of goofy. She’s like, “What the heck.” I was like okay cool, just wait a second. We pull up to this putt-putt golf course. I was like, “We’re going to play putt-putt like we’re serious putt-putters which is why we dressed up for it.” I was like, “We’re going to go to do putt-putt like that then we’re going to go have a picnic on the putt-putt golf course.”
She told me later she was way outside of her comfort zone. It was a double date, and my buddy were just hamming it up. It was a lot of fun. Shout out to Dan Wilcox what’s up? Anyways, she was not interested in me after that date. She was like, “Crap, this guy is interested and I don’t know how to say it.” I was like, “I’ve got to do something else that’s kind of crazy.” This is going to sound nuts. How long have I been going on this podcast already? I’ve already been going, I’ve got to look at my phone without crashing here. Ten minutes, all right. I’ll make it quick.
All right, this is your guy’s story. I was like, “Okay, I’ve got to sweeten this deal up because she’s not interested I know she’s not.” Despite my strikingly amazing good looks. She worked at this daycare. I had at least convinced her to start texting me, things like that. Baby steps. I text her things. I’m like, “Hey hope your day went well, hope to see you sometime soon.” She goes, “Oh my gosh, my day was awful.” It was a Wednesday. She was like, my day sucked. “Kids are everywhere parents expect you to just [inaudible 00:11:27] their children now.” She was a preschool teacher basically. She was like, “It was really really bad.” I’m like, “Gosh, I’m so sorry. It’s awful.”
I was like, “I’m going to make a survive your Thursday kit.” I didn’t tell her that. I was being goofy with it. I showed my childish side, cheesy side, goofy side, kind of crazy side, all that. I was adding in all these things like snacks and books and things that you would give a kid. I was like, “Here’s your survive your Thursday kit. Give it to the kids or you have it or whatever.” I went and I doorbell ditched it. She was like, “Oh, thanks.” She’s like, “Crap, this kid is like totally addicted now. I’m screwed.” She was hot, you know. Anyways we went and she invited me over.
she actually worked at an orphanage in Romania for a while. She showed me those pictures of that. I was like, “Cool, cool. This is progressing.” I was like, “Man, I’ve got to do one more thing to try to get her to know, I’m a goof ball, but I’m serious. I’m crazy but I want to steady date.” I’m losing my voice a little bit. I’m like, I’m going to make a catalog. She’s talking about ordering all this stuff for her brother’s wedding. I’m like, “Okay, I’m the oldest of six kids.” Between me and the youngest one is seventeen years. I still have siblings still that are not even teenagers while I’m recording this right now.
I’m twenty-eight if you guys are trying to do the math. This was like five or six years ago. You know those play sets? I took pictures of these play sets, like the food that they have in there. The little plastic pizzas, or plastic hot dogs or whatever. I was like, “Do you want a plastic pizza or a real one? Call this number to order.” It was my number. “Do you want fake dates, which was a pile of dates like the fruit, or do you want a real date? Do you want a fake movie?” I took a picture of a movie theater, and I took a picture of a movie theater. Do you want this or this, this or this, this or this? She calls and she’s like, “I’ll take the real date with the real pizza, I’d like the real movie, real, this that, that, that.” I can’t remember. I was like, “Sweet, I got the next date.”
This sounds totally cheesy. That’s the point. When you do your marketing, when you do anything, putting up a freaking order form, or there’s no explanation or you’re just buying ads straight to your site, that sucks. Playful people are typically more creative people. I had a professor tell me that. He was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had in marketing. I have a marketing degree. That’s one of the things. He would have us play with little kid toys in the middle of his lectures. No joke, I played with play-doh. He was like, “You’re required to play the entire time in this class. You understand that?” We were like, “what the heck?” He was like, “Don’t take notes, put that crap way.” He was like, “Don’t do this, put that crap away.” It was prolific. His teaching style was prolific. He’s like, “That’s not normal, that’s crazy. Why are we doing this?” Because we were playing we were in a more creative state. That’s the challenge.
That’s the whole purpose of this podcast. I’m trying to say, some of your marketing, some of these funnels you’re sending over to me, your product is great, but your message is bad in your ads. You look boring. You look like a corporation, no one cares about corporations. No one falls in love with a corporation. They fall in love with a certain individual or icon or idea. You know Flo from progressive? She’s the highest paid spokesperson. Why? Because people think of progressive when they think of her. It almost makes progressive third party compared to her. Shes’ the advocate, she’s the spokesperson. She shows faults and flaws and their commercials are cheesy but they give you a chuckle.
That’s the whole thing. One I saw recently, I won’t say the name. It was a squeeze page, the page looked gorgeous, it was beautiful, it was amazing. Very well designed, very awesome looking page, totally main stream message. He’s got a level ten design on a level two marketing message. Marketing is all that crazy stuff. That little prolific stuff. I’m not saying you have to do stuff that’s crazy, but look at what everyone else is doing and don’t do that. Which is the exact opposite thing you do when you’re building the business.
If you’re building a lifestyle business right now or just something to make a little extra money, don’t be creative. Don’t get out there and be creative. Go find someones who’s crushing it, model what they’re doing. That’s the safest path to making money in that industry also. Then after you’ve matched the control of the other person. After you’re actually making money, it’s fine to be prolific. It’s time to go out there and find your own spot in the Eco-system of the industry that you’re in. That’s when you go be creative and crazy and playful or whatever it is. Whatever you are, it’s not so much a matter of highlighting all of your strengths. “These are my strengths and I’m highlighting my strengths in my business and personally.” No one cares. It’s more about highlighting your differences.
Everyone works so freaking hard to be mainstream in our society. Everyone does. That’s what pop culture is. That’s why everyone watches the same freaking TV shows. That’s why everyone does the same things. You know what I do when I’m about to go create sales funnels? I watch comedy. I do. It’s not even like it’s adult comedy. I’ll go freaking watch Even Stevens, one of my favorite TV shows of my childhood. Not all the time. Sometimes I’ll go do that stuff, stuff that makes me playful. You cannot be consuming new data and be creative at the same time. You are either consuming or you’re being creative. Your brain cannot be analytical which is one side of your head, and then creative, which is the other side of your head, at the same time. That’s the whole reason I’m telling you guys these stories.
Freak, man I used marketing principals to get my hot wife. I did. It’s what it is thought. It’s dating, it’s sales. Anything you want. Anyways, I got sweet deals with people and awesome clients because marketing principals apply everywhere. It’s all kind of the same formula. Just go be prolific if you have a current business. If you’re working on yours, start looking for ways that you can be in the future, just do stuff that’s kind of nuts. What’s that crazy one I saw recently? There’s a commercial I saw, you guys have probably seen this. I can’t even remember what it is. You guys have probably seen this. There’s a commercial, I think it’s a commercial. It’s been like a decade since I’ve seen it which is the power of this.
Here’s a better example, the Old Spice commercials. With that guy with his shirt off and he’s like, “Hello, ladies.” At the end, he’s like, “I want a horse.” All this random stuff. All he’s really saying is wear Old Spice and you’ll get a horse an a handful of diamonds and tickets and a lady. Anyways. I don’t mean to beat a dead horse but stop being main stream. Highlight your differences and you’ll be good. If you just do that one thing, you’ll start to become a brand, you’ll start to become your own culture, or your own cult-ure. Be your own cult. Kind of like Russell Bronson always says. Kind of funny.
That’s it man. Guys, ladies, whoever it is who’s listening to this. By the way if you guys want me to look at your sales funnel, just shoot me a message. I’m on Facebook. Facebook is the best one, not Skype. I will talk to you guys later. Go ahead and send me some of your questions. I’ve got a lot of interviews that are coming out and a lot that have already come out. If this is the first time you’ve ever listened to this broadcast, just go back and I like to dissect people’s sales funnels with them. Successful entrepreneurs and find out what failures they went through to produce that good result, or leading to that good part. Anyways guys, we’ll talk to you later, thank you so much. I promise to not always do these in the care, I know the mic quality.
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I'm a family guy in my late 20's who learned how to sell more by building sales funnels. During college I created my own business helping businesses with their sales funnels. Quickly, I realized that I was onto something. My clients sold more, worked less for the sale, and their customers were being served more. Since internet sales funnels are only now getting the light they deserve, I actively look for ways to fill the world with more of them. Learn more about me here.